-------- Original Message --------
||Friday, April 16, 2004 4:18 PM
Hi Johann & Irmgard,
This is the partial story of the events I told you I was going
to record. I think it helps clear up alot of problems.
We went to the marriage counselor yesterday. Although nothing
much has changed, it was a good day. Dan is no longer saying
I have to say the doctor was of the devil. One thing the counselor
did say to Dan which was a bit comical was, "I get so tired of
hearing you talk...please listen." He also said, "50% of everything
that comes out of your mouth is a put-down to your wife." But,
like I said, I think the Lord blessed in spite of the fact that
nothing much changed, except two more people know what's going
on in our lives.
Irmgard, my prayers are with you. Keep looking to Jesus.
He is giving you the strength for this battle. Your peace of
mind and your positive outlook is critical at this time. I wish
I could be there to try to make you laugh. I've got some great
stories after yesterday! God bless you!!
This story begins last September when Dan & I went to Denmark.
There we met Irmgard, Johann's wife, for the first time. (Johann
is a retired Pastor who is promoting 3ABN in Europe.) (Delightful
people.) Just one week after this trip I received an e-mail from
Johann stating that Irmgard had been diagnosed with bone cancer.
I contacted them several times making them aware of individuals
which could help them here in America. They decided to come to
3ABN for some treatments by some local people. Meanwhile they
met a doctor from Norway over the phone who invited them to come
to Norway. Irmgard said she needed to go to 3ABN first...and
then this particular doctor felt impressed to go to 3ABN as well.
He had been watching 3ABN for about 4 years. I met Dr. Abrahamsen
through Johann & Irmgard about the last week of December, towards
the end of his visit. Then I mentioned to him about the condition
of my son, Nathan.
Nathan was just 15 when his father (who is not a Christian)
took me to court to get custody of Nathan. Although the father
had spent little time with Nathan during his childhood, Nathan
was thrilled when all of a sudden he received special attention
from him and the encouragement to move in with him. He promised
lots of fishing and hunting time together. Making a long story
short, I lost custody of Nathan. Less than a year later Nathan
wanted to come home to live with us, but his father would not
let him, and the law did not support him doing this. After this,
Nathan's life became a terrible and horrifying journey as he
chose a wild lifestyle with alcohol, drugs, etc. Nathan is alive
today because of the grace of God, and a lot of prayer. Nathan
worked in the coal mines from ages 21-23. (He's 23 now) Thus,
he was able to afford the most addicting drug on the market today
which is known as "meth." In one year's time, he says, he spent
$20,000 on this drug. As a result Nathan looked like one of the
starved Jews out of a Nazi camp with scars from the affects of
the drugs all over his face and neck. Additionally, Nathan had
been exposed to dangerous chemicals in the mines and he was a
physical wreck. As his mother, I have been begging God for a
miracle for many years.
It was a miracle when I was able to convince Nathan to go
and see Dr. Abrahamsen while he was here. He tested Nathan and,
of course, discovered that he was in a terrible physical condition.
He said, "I think I can help you but you would need to come to
Norway." Somewhere in the conversation he offered Nathan a place
to stay and also treatments which would help him physically...and
Nathan actually agreed to go. It was scheduled for Nathan and
his girlfriend, Dava, to go about January 21. I talked to this
doctor only a couple of times making the arrangements for this
trip. Dan's opinion was that the doctor sounded like a "quack"
but he thought just a month away from his friends would help.
Next, my best friend (of two years), Brenda and I flew to
Norway to give Nathan support. We arrived on Monday night February
2 and we left Friday morning, February 6. I was amazed at the
difference in Nathan's appearance in only 10 days. He was gaining
weight, his scars were healing and his attitude was 100% improved.
I praised God that finally my miracle had come for my son. Afterwards,
when home again, I called to check on Nathan about twice a week.
One conversation with the doctor alerted me to the fact that
he felt that Nathan's foundational problem was that he really
wanted a Dad. His blood father had kicked him out of the house
when he was 18. At that time I asked my husband if he could move
in with us to nurture him back to the Lord. Dan refused. He said,
"Nathan is just too different now with his drinking and smoking
and drugs. And what if he brought his friends over to the house?"
I felt really bad about the doctor's conclusion and I went to
Dan in January and said, "We really failed Nathan when we didn't
invite him to live with us when he was 18. He really needed us."
Dan in general responded, "That was your marriage, it's your
kid and it's not my responsibility...and don't think for a minute
he's going to move in with us when he gets home from Norway."
Again I was reminded I had to fight for Nathan's life alone.
Brenda and I had a pleasant visit with the doctor while we
stayed in his home. He had lost his wife just last August, and
when he got home from work, in the evenings we were able to make
him laugh and get his mind off of his sorrows. He invited Brenda
to come back in June for treatments, since she was in a bad physical
condition...he even offered to pay for her plane ticket. When
Brenda and I left Norway, we both felt we had gained a friend.
February was a heavy month of traveling for Dan & myself.
The first week I was in Norway. The second weekend we were in
Florida. The third week we went to the Philippines. And the fourth
weekend we were in Kansas. But between February 8, when I got
home from Norway, and March 9, when we counseled with our Pastor,
I am accused of committing spiritual adultery...to the extent
that my husband has told me six times that he now has grounds
to re-marry. Additionally, the doctor was in Africa one of those
weeks, so that leaves approximately 2 weeks where this adultery
had to have happened. Dan obtained the records from a calling
card that I had which revealed that there were calls on 3 days
out of 10, and these longer calls began to occur when Nathan
came home (the latter part of February) and started having drug
problems again, and also I started having serious problems with
Dan. Although I never discussed Dan with the doctor early on,
when the serious problems began, the doctor was a friend that
I felt would keep things confidential...and he was 6000 miles
When I arrived home from Norway I told Dan that I'd found
a friend in this doctor and that Nathan was doing excellent.
Twice, when I was talking to the doctor on the phone, Dan came
and pulled the phone away from my ear so he could listen. (Let
me point out here that I've never done this to Dan when he was
talking to a female.) When the subject changed from "Nathan"
to something else Dan said "Hang up." I explained to Dan that
when he is raising funds for 3ABN that he never just said "Hello,
would you send 3ABN $10,000?" He always had a warm, friendly
conversation and he made friends with the person. In the same
way, I felt I couldn't just formally discuss Nathan and then
"hang up." So from then on, my conversations with the doctor
were done privately.
At some point in February I was sharing with the doctor about
how busy we were at 3ABN with traveling and schedules and he
said, "You know, I'm going to Florida over spring break, and
you ought to think about going down there to get some rest."
I just changed the subject because I thought it would never fit
into my schedule anyway. A few days later I mentioned to Brenda
what the doctor had said. Her response was "Oh, I think that
would be fun, let's go!" A week later when the doctor returned
from Africa, I mentioned to him that Brenda and I thought we'd
go to Florida. He had totally forgotten anything about it. But
he agreed to go .... However about two weeks
later after Brenda talked with Dan, she came to me and said "Dan
is getting pretty irate about you talking to the doctor. We better
cancel him." I immediately agreed. However, he offered the condo
for us to stay in although he wouldn't be there. But we had remedied
this Florida vacation situation way before Dan found out about
it. And as it turned out, the entire trip was canceled.
Somewhere during the month of February I asked Brenda if she
really wanted to go to Norway in June to get treatments. She
said "Yes." I said, "Well, if you want me to go, you'll have
to ask Dan if I can go." She did. He said "yes." Please keep
this in mind for later.
March 8 Dan told me if I didn't stop talking to the doctor,
he was going to get me fired at 3ABN. This was quite a bombshell,
and at the time I felt that he was trying to make me choose between
him and my son, because Nathan still needed this doctor who cared
about him and who had so incredibly helped him physically. (In
3 and ½ weeks his appearance was completely different, and he
looked similar to how he looked at 18.) Things really began to
get crazy at this point. Dan said he was going to talk to our
Pastor, who by the way works for Dan, and who Dan is trying to
raise money for his down payment on a house. He did. The next
day I called John, not intending to get into any heavy discussions,
but it ended up that he came over to our house for six hours.
Dan discussed our "surprisingly horrible" marriage to John for
about 5 ½ hours, while I mentioned a few issues in 30 minutes.
Dan's threat was "It's either the marriage and 3ABN or it's the
relationship with the doctor." The conclusion of the evening's
meeting was that I wouldn't talk to the doctor anymore.