Tommy Shelton's "Confession" Critiqued
When dealing with a pedophile, one has to be aware of the fact that such individuals can be highly manipulative.
One is therefore torn between the possibility that the "confession" is genuine, and the possibility that it is
another attempt at manipulation of a victim.
We therefore appreciate the following critique provided by an individual who was a victim of child molestation,
and who therefore has some experience dealing with individuals who resort to manipulative behavior to keep their
misdeeds from being brought to light.
Our suspicions about this "confession" were seconded by the one who provided us this critique. Tommy's apparent
suggesting that he and his victim had had a long-term homosexual relationship would potentially keep this victim
quiet, since he most certainly wouldn't want Tommy telling people something like that.
A Critique by a Victim of Child Molestation
I received your e-mail a couple of days ago. I guess you sent it longer ago
than that, but I am not home several days a week. It sounds like you are
doing what makes you the happiest - being involved in Gospel music.
"See what a great man I am. I am interested in your happiness."
Duane, I have spent the last several years trying to straighten my life out.
As you well know, I had a big problem and should have gotten help years ago
or got out of the ministry. To be honest, I really didn't know that I
needed help then, but of course I know now. At the time, I knew that I
loved God and wanted to help people, but my problem always got in the way.
"Pity me." He doesn't clarify if the problem he is speaking of is ...
his homosexual tendencies or his penchant to molest young boys.
You will remember that before I went to D.C. I apologized to you and told
you that I wanted to make a new start and I have been trying to do that ever
since. I've been honest with my wife, whom I almost destroyed with what I did.
Here he has either told him he honestly wants to try to battle his demons or #7
has gotten too old to fit the characteristics that turn him on or he is just tired
of him or someone has found him out.
I have been honest with her that some inappropriate things happened between
you and me - all my fault - and I also told her that you resisted every
attempt that I ever made. You and I both know that is true. I know now
that I took advantage of how much you cared for me, and I am shocked that
you will even speak to me.
While he openly admits that the 7th victim resisted his attempts he leaves the
door open to interpret the "inappropriate things" that happened between them as
homosexual encounters. This use of "inappropriate things" is also a further attempt
to control #7 by minimizing what actually happened between them. He then infers
he had exploited #7's own homosexual tendencies because of #7's feelings about him.
and then inferring that those feelings must still be there because #7 still will
speak to him.
Because of what I have done to Carol, you and others, it is not good for me
or you to try to rekindle a friendship. Please understand, the last thing I
want to do is hurt you more. I've hurt you enough for a life time. I'm
sure that you have felt that I have abandoned you, and you are right, that
was part of my sickness - run when things got hot. For all of this, Duane,
I am so sorry.
While on the surface he appears to be coming off as a caring and concerned
reformed sinner, he also seems to infer that he and #7 were having an
adulterous relationship which he suddenly broke off, hurting the "other man".
If it would help you with some of the hurt you have experienced, Carol and I
are both willing to sit and talk to you. Although Carol was very hurt at
you for several years for continuing to be friends with me when you knew she
didn't want us together, she too has been working on finding healing and has
forgiven us both. Naturally she could never be comfortable with me having a
one on one friendship with any one from the past, she is willing, however,
to do what ever she can to help if you may be still carrying some scars from
my relationship with you.
This is the part that concerns me the most. He is inferring that #7 shares the blame
for the hurt caused to Carol Shelton. He also reinforces that by saying that Carol
has forgiven them both. A victim responsible for the pain they have caused?
He is continuing the grooming of this victim to try to keep him quiet! To keep
him full of shame at his possible tendencies, or allowing himself to be exploited.
Carol may possibly write to you too, just letting you know that we do c are
what happens to you and if there is anything we can do together to help, or
help make things right, we are willing to do. If you need to ask her
anything, we share the same e-mail account.
I do thank you for the many years that you were a friend to me. I loved
your mother deeply and cared for all of your family. It is unbelievable
that I could make such a mess out of everything. I hope you can someday
find it in your heart to forgive me - I am really trying to do right.
Once again he is tugging at #7's heart strings, showing what a loving, caring
person he really is even though he did some "inappropriate things" that caused