I am writing this letter in regards to last year's phone conversation.
I told you then I was confronting you about what you did to me
so I could deal with my feelings about it. I did not then, nor
will I now, make any apologies [to] anyone who might be upset
My attitude has changed towards this situation. I thought
I could just handle this and go on with my life, but now I realize
I cannot. You ruined the better part of 15 years of my life.
I was afraid to date anyone, I let people walk all over me, and
I felt lower than dirt. The years you destroyed should have been
some of the best years of my life. While everyone was out doing
what they enjoyed, I was constantly working to try to take my
mind off what happened. You destroyed my self-esteem and that
I'm still battling today. I have no confidence in myself to accomplish
major tasks in life.
It kind of makes me wonder about the other
guys that you abused. All of the ones that I know about have
had failed marriages. Doesn't it make YOU wonder what they are
going through, or do you even care?
You were supposed to be someone
people could put their trust in and look up to, and here you
were doing some of the most disgusting and immoral things you
could do. While you were preaching to everyone how they should
honor their marriage vows, you were cheating on your own wife,
and with who, teenage boys. We had our whole lives ahead of us
and you put us through hell on earth. I don't know how you could
look yourself in the mirror, let alone get up and preach to people
about how they ought to live.
When someone would confront you
about what you did, you would try to take the attention off of
what you did by having some sort of health problem (loss of memory,
heart problems, nervous breakdown). It seemed odd to me that
you recovered quick when you realized that you were in the clear.
You really disgust me. It makes me sick to realize how many lives
you damaged and the only time that you feel the need to apologize
is when it all comes back up again. Then you put on this POOR
PITIFUL ME act (how you wish it didn't happen, the reason you
do this is because you were abused as a child, you would take
it all back if you could, and the all-time favorite, please don't
put my family through this again). What about what you put all
of us through?
Then what makes me mad is when your brother calls
to try to scare people into not saying anything or when the church
receives a letter from Mike Riva telling us to stop saying anything.
I heard (I don't know for sure) that the reason for the letter
was to protect your livelihood. What about my livelihood? I feel
like I don't have the confidence to achieve the things that I
want to in life.
I know this letter seems hateful, I Don't Care.
I'm tired of not saying anything just so I won't upset people.
Guess what, it gets better. I have been checking the laws on
reporting sexual abuse. There was a new law passed that extends
the age that you can report abuse to age 38, I'm 32. So here
is what I'm going to do. I'm going to let you decide what you
should do to make amends for what you did.
I will tell you up
front, if I get a letter or phone call from your brother or an
attorney that in any way appears threatening, I will immediately
go to the sheriff's office and file charges against you. This
has gone on long enough with nothing being done. This is Not
It all rests on you Tommy, let your conscience be your
guide. I will not wait long before I will decide what action
is best to resolve this.
Roger W. Clem